Do you feel this way–
Before you even open your eyes in the morning, some mornings,
maybe many mornings, you feel it creeping its way into your skin,
your muscles, your bones, your mind, your eyes, your throat.

It’s that ANXIETY monster.

I’ve fought for years.
Then, yesterday morning,
THIS came to me:

Begin The Day.

Stomach churning,
nerves lit up,
inner limbs aquiver,
muscles knotting,
throat closing.

My day begins.

I open my eyes,
remembering to say—
in my mind
and in my heart—
“Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.”

The churning softens.
The taut lines along my inner limbs ease.
The threads of tension release their stranglehold.
My throat clears.
My mind focuses on my breath:

Blessed Mother,
Holy Spirit, Lord Jesus,
All the Angels and Saints,
Holy Men, Women, and Children,

help me sit with myself today—
with all the anxiety
with all the sadness
with all the tension
with all the nervousness
with all the grief
with all the anger
with all the regret
with all the fear
with all the loss
with all the hope
with all the wonder
with all the joy
with all the whispers of softness
with all the beauty
with all the peace
with all the promise
with all the sweetness
with all the calm
with all the love
with all the…life.

Help me sit with it all
instead of turning away
in desparate need for certitude,
for perfection, for quiet.
Help me recognize the beauty in the all of being
and embrace the dark with the light.
Help me step into the shadows
so that they hold less power over my moment,
so that I may shine warmth into their corners,
so that I may see how they inform the light beyond them.

Help me breathe in and breathe out
with awareness of each
and of both
and of every
and of all.

Help me sit with myself today.

©paulaksgardner, 2016.

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