Just ask…

When you want to know something about someone, just ask them.

When you want to know how someone feels about something, just ask them.

When you want to get information about someone or something or an event or an activity,

just ask.

I’m sure I’m not the only person who was raised to 

or interpreted 

or perceived 

or inferred 

or expected

or …

to NOT ask, 

but rather to WAIT, to guess, to avoid embarrassment, 

to know by osmosis or intuition or some magical thing.

I’m sure others among us

have been discouraged from asking questions

so that we don’t step on others’ toes 

or make others uncomfortable

or step over a line of protocol or propriety.

I have learned (truth is I’m still learning!) 

that the answer to each question we do NOT ask

is NO.

NO to you, 

NO to me,

NO to them,

NO to understanding,

NO to appreciating,

NO to learning,

NO to growing,

NO to being present,

NO.

NO. NO. NO.

And when we ask,

we learn even when it’s hard learning.

When we ask,

we grow even when it’s hard growing.

When we ask,

our compassion quotient increases

because we know something about the person in front of us.

And ourself.

“Just” ask, of course,

is never “just.”

It’s filled to the brim with fear and anxiety and shyness and wincing and wondering

and trepidation and…did I mention fear?

Fear of rejection, of inducing anger, of feeling stupid, of rocking the status quo boat,

of losing, fear of winning, fear.

But what if…

what if we ask

and learn that the reason someone didn’t like the gift we gave them

was because they hate the color blue…and not us?

What if….

we ask someone what’s making them frown today

and we learn that their dog was diagnosed with a tumor

and it’s not that WE made a mistake?

What if…

we ask someone to go to the movies with us and they say no,

not today, but NEXT week?

What if….

we ask someone to buy our book

and they don’t spit in our face or laugh in our face or turn on their heel and run away?

What if…

we ask someone if they would be interested in participating in a fundraiser

and not only do they say yes, but they donate more than anyone else?

What if… you never ask…

that answer is always no.

Of course,

when we ask,

we are trusting that the person at the other end

is self-aware enough,

present enough,

able enough

to answer our question 

honestly.

But THIS is a topic for another time.

Meanwhile…

Let us learn to ask for what we want.

What do YOU want?

Blessings,

Paula.

P.S.  I want you to take excellent care of yourself this year and always—inside and out.  So I invite you to join me for yoga, for meditation, for healing sound restorative yoga…Choices abound.  Will you join me?  I teach Thursdays at Tranquil Soul, Fridays at McCord Gallery, 2 Sundays at Orland Park Health and Fitness, and an occasional Sunday of restorative at Tranquil Soul.

And yes, I still occasionally do private sessions. 

Just ask!