All…And/Or…
All…
or nothing at all…
I get frustrated at and with;
I tease;
I hide from the people in my life
whose life
is lived in black and white,
all or nothing at all.
Who react and respond to the world
every day in every way
(or so it seems to me)
with impatience at the
impermanence of
consumable goods, for example.
How and why are we always running out of X?
Who roll their eyes
at having to wash the dishes every day,
day in,
day out;
Who rail at the injustice
of not having fairies or elves
who clean at night
while I sleep?
Yeah…
I.
I add my name to this list of people
who live
(or think we live
or wish we lived)
in an “all" world,
a world where everything is true in our favor;
where “nothing” doesn’t exist.
But wait!
We DO!
We just don’t see it this way.
Intellectually,
even spiritually,
I embrace
“Yes, and…”
I love to say, “At the same time…”
But truth is,
when I’m frightfully frank with myself in the mirror,
I am one of these who lives (too frequently for my own flavor)
in this place of frustration
because life flows,
because things get used up
or need to be replaced;
because people are human
and have our own fears and foibles…
because age happens…
because…
because…
because…
because of the wonderful things he does…
(Where’s the Wizard when you need one?)
I get so annoyed when things (or people)
are not what I need/want them to be,
when I have to replace the roof or the refrigerator
yet again (?!)).
When I have to make a 2nd or 5th trip to the grocery store
because we forgot oj or milk or…
When I drop something or trip or experience an ache ( a new one!)…
When I have to ask my husband for the 1017th time to rinse and wipe the dishes
he uses instead of leaving the food to get hard
and then hard to get off the dishes he uses.
How human
of him,
of me,
of all of us.
…to want order instead of chaos (but whose version of order?!? hmm?)
…to want things and people to remain the same over our lifetime (You know, like plants and flowers are always the same?!?! and trees and kids don’t grow!))
…to think (delude ourselves) that we can hold tight to habit
and contain change.
This is why we have the saying,
“God laughs at our plans.”
Well…
Actually,
I believe God laughs WITH us
and not AT us.
I believe that God smiles on our human-ness
and enlists the Universe to support us
in every way possible
for our highest good
and for the highest good of all.
(But I live with enough doubt to make life challenging.)
Believing
or working to believe
that God, the Universe, the Divine in me that is me
are all conspiring on my behalf
helps me breathe into and through these moments
of frustration and fear;
helps me to NOT try to push it all away
but to see
and receive
and move in the directions I want to go.
Not fighting,
but receiving.
Not resisting,
but acknowledging
And so my week begins.
And yours?
Where are you these days?
-physically?
-mentally?
-spiritually?
-emotionally?
I’m checking in.
I hope you are, too.
Because this awareness that “checking in” brings to us
is invaluable in its gifts to us.
Wow!
I am aware that, as I was spilling out onto this page,
something shifted. My complaints and observations of “All or nothing” became
a version of
“It all counts…because we count.”
It IS all true…
All at the same time.
The questions for us become:
How do we hold it all?
CAN we hold it all?
What can we release? let go of? Receive?
Accept?
Where’s the line between accepting as it is
and behaving with complacence?
Damned if I know.
What I DO know is that we ARE all we are.
And there’s no shame in BEING all we are.
Perhaps,
it’s better to see and say,
“All AND Nothing at all.”
(Sighing in wonder and amusement)
Blessings,
(Yes, I’m back to this because it feels right-er to me!)
Blessings Always,
Paula.
p.s. The image is to remind me to remember to be grateful for ALL of me,
ALL parts, ALL ages….ALL
p.p.s. Lest we forget…
Today is February 10, 2025.
The 1000 EU off registration for France
ends on Valentine’s Day—Friday.
That is in five (5) days.
I look forward to welcoming YOUR WHOLE SELF to France
where “ALL OF YOU” is welcome!
