Unsolicited Advice
I just opened an email from some “news source."
Usually, I summarily unsubscribe to these unsolicited presences in my email box….but I was curious.
They got me with their title.
The title fed my fear and dismay.
And then…my anger kicked in
because I was doing something that I work really hard to NOT do.
I was letting despair direct and run my day.
I was mindlessly feeding my fears.
Read no further if you do not want my unsolicited advice.
But if you’re looking for highly practical,
self-preserving,
self-sustaining, get-you-through-this-nightmare
kind of self care,
read on.
I’m your girl.
I have an indomitable spirit and I have enough (for the moment)
for many.
Take some. Let it feed your courage, strength, fearlessness.
I will be offering some time later today here on the book of face
a brief practice of fearlessness.
Remember, fearlessness doesn’t mean having no fear;
It means acknowledging our fear and then tapping into that piece of ourself,
no matter how teeny tiny it is
where our courage and strength and fearlessness ABIDE.
Following is my unsolicited advice, spoken from 67 years of living and practicing and being.
DO NOT READ ANY CRYSTAL BALLS—yours or anyone else’s.
These crystal balls will only serve to carry you back to despair.
What we grant attention,
we grow in and around ourselves.
I do not wish you to nor advise you to deny your feelings.
But crystal balls—that is, fortune telling as news outlets do and also as those among us who feel compelled to state our fears as fact and to project them onto the world—usually reflect only the most dire, negative potentialities. These predictions direct our focus on only ONE possibility—and usually, it’s the most negative.
We humans have a negative bias.
We have what is now considered to be a BIOLOGICAL predisposition to protect ourselves.
It’s how our species survived—by anticipating disaster and by responding instantaneously to it.
But the world is not the same as our ancestors lived in and we would do well to entertain if not understand that we have the ability to choose our own adventure,
to choose in which directions we want to move.
So, on a day like today
where we are extraordinarily vulnerable to suggestion
and to wading into and yes, miring ourself
in our fears and sadnesses,
we must exercise incredible vigilance over what we allow in.
Following is my unsolicited bits of advice.
Turn off all radio and TV.
Stop scrolling. In fact, turn off all social media for today.
Seek out solace and/or company and/or solitude that ONLY holds you where you are and doesn’t project into the future. (Yes, feeling desperate is ok because it’s how you feel. Just don’t feed it.)
Go stand and/or walk OUTSIDE. We humans are part of nature. Remember Nature’s healing properties. Receive them.
Breathe all the way OUT. And then breathe out some more. Now let the breath come and go.
Go be with someone or talk with someone you feel safe with.
Read inspirational works (John O’Donohue’s work is magic for it contains all parts of us and reminds us to remember what beauty lies within us and around us.)
Look for someone or something to feel grateful for. I’m serious.
Do NOT shame yourself or anyone else. Shame is a web that is difficult to extricate yourself from.
Look for ONE thing of beauty and dwell on it. Feel where in your body you experience its beauty. Notice its color and/or texture and/or where it is. Savor every cell in it and in you responding to it.
Receive love AND offer love.
Wear or carry something malachite.
Put some essential oil of frankincense and myrrh and lavender on you, preferably at the very base of your skull, but anywhere counts.
Hold your hands in one of the fearlessness mudras: All fingers but the pinky finger touch the thumb. Extend the pinky finger. Each hand.
Do a warrior pose for any length of time at all. Remember that Warrior energy doesn’t equal violence. Warrior energy is practicing the strength and courage to hold your center, to believe in yourself, to do what you know you need to do to sustain your faith in the face of fears. Warrior energy anchors you in who you are. Without apology. With endless compassion for yourself and others. It’s a PRACTICE and it’s meant to cultivate what you want to feel even when you don’t necessarily feel it at this moment.
Be present to yourself. Notice what comes and goes. Without judging, shaming, criticizing or hanging onto it.
Watch yourself. Each time you notice yourself drifting back into your pit of despair/sadness, pat yourself on the back for noticing. And then, shift your attention back to focusing on your faith rather than on your fears. It doesn’t change them immediately or even any time soon. It doesn’t make them go away. But we get more of what we focus on. Focus on YOUR courage, strength, resourcefulness, love.
Take some of MY indomitable spirit and use it for yourself as you build your capacity to tap into your own courage and strength and fearlessness.
Call on me for support.
I love you. I’m in your corner. I’m on your side.
Let me help you feed and feel your strength, courage, fortitude, steadfastness, fearlessness.
And anything else you need right here right now
to hold this moment as it comes.
Blessings Always,
Paula.
