What is a Blessing (to YOU?)
I have a friend who is becoming quite dear to me
who signs off on everything she does like this:
“Love,
(her name)”
I’ve admired her for doing this for quite some time.
For the past 5 years,
(since I began reading every piece I could find by John O’Donohue),
I’ve been signing off:
"Blessings,
Paula.”
Some people (my sons—who know me—included)
have expressed their discomfort with my sign-off
because it “feels religious” (not me)
and it does not feel spiritual (me).
Never mind that offering people a blessing, as John O’Donohue wrote, is a blessing!
(Adopted from his book, Benedictus)
What is a blessing?
A blessing is a circle of light drawn around a person to protect, heal, and strengthen.
Life is a constant flow of emergence.
The beauty of blessing is its belief that it can affect what unfolds.
Blessings hold a great tradition in the Celtic world. A blessing is intended to strengthen
human presence; and it often harnesses the energy of nature to effect this.
A blessing awakens future wholeness.
Each and every one of us has the power to bless. Blessing is from soul to soul.
May we all receive blessing upon blessing.
And may we realize our power to bless, heal and renew each other.
*******
But who knows this in our current world?
Unless you’ve read John O’Donohue,
or you feel the same way about blessings,
you may resist or deny or reject the “blessings”
that I send to you.
I became defiant (what are the odds?!):
If people can’t understand this, too bad for them.
They’re missing out by not accepting the blessing.
What I forgot/overlooked/ignored
is the very simple rules of successful communication:
Communication goes and comes from two ways
at the same time.
Communication is the process of making the exchange clear to both participants.
MY work in communication is to consistently and constantly check in to make sure that what I mean and intend, that is, what I want you to understand is what’s being heard/received by you. It means shifting words or phrases if they’re unclear to you (without judging me for not being clear or you for not understanding).
MY work is to listen attentively without--in the back of my mind-- an agenda of trying to convince or persuade you and to make sure that I understand what YOU mean, to ask questions until I get as best I can in this moment what you’re working to communicate with me.
YOUR work in communication is to consistently and constantly
check in to make sure that what you mean and intend, that is, what you want me to understand is what I’m hearing and receiving from you. It means shifting words or phrases if they’re unclear to me (without judging me for not being understanding or you for not being clear).
YOUR work is to listen attentively without--in the back of your mind-- an agenda of trying to convince or persuade me and to make sure that you understand what I mean, to ask questions until you get as best you can in this moment what I’m working to communicate with you.
It's a LOT of work.
And WE ARE WORTH THE WORK.
“Meet people where they are.”
I’ve been practicing this for 26 years of teaching and sharing
yoga and meditation, guiding retreats for almost as long and, most recently,
officially coaching.
If people don’t receive my signature (Blessings) because of confusion of its origins and intentions, its meaning is lost, diffused. Its blessing is diminished because the blessing being sent is not received as it is intended.
All of these important words to say this:
I’m changing the way I sign off my letters (yes, I still do those!), posts, emails, messages, texts…and here’s why:
I want each and every person who reads something from me to understand wholly and without a doubt that
I speak and write and live from the heart;
my heart is one with yours;
that I want to live and breathe and speak and write and dance and teach and guide and listen…
from the heart,
with love for you.
And so,
my signing off,
so that I am absolutely clear to you
is now…
With Love,
Paula.
p.s. DOES this make sense to you? Write me back and let me know--yes/no!!! and whatever other thoughts/feelings/insights you have!
p.p.s. So that I don’t forget to remind you to remember: January 31 is Friday. Friday is the last day to receive 1000 Euros OFF the cost of the September retreat. Go here to get more information and to register when you’re ready. https://www.thefrogshouse.fr/paula-strupeck-gardner
p.p.s.s. If Europe seems out of reach, come to summer camp with me in Wisconsin instead:
