Gifts of the Magi

Yesterday was January 6.

To many, January 6 is the Epiphany,

or the Feast of the Three Kings.

It is the one-year anniversary

of one of the most important moments of my life.

May I share it with you?

My mother lay internally finding her way along her journey

to whatever comes next after this life.

I woke up that morning of January 6

with this profound sense that I needed to anoint her,

to remind her to remember

that she is sacred

and divine.

That morning,

instead of my usual questioning

of my intuition,

I followed.

I brought with me to her side

a vial each of Frankincense,

Myrrh

and Lavender.

Frankincense and Myrrh

were two of the three gifts that the Magi,

the Wise Men,

brought to the infant Jesus.

These essential oils

are made from the resin of the Boswalia and Dindin tree respectively.

They were used in rituals of anointing kings and clergy,

as a recognition of that person’s divinity…

…royal oils, if you will.

I did not ask permission of anyone other than my mother.

While she couldn’t answer me outright,

I figured that even as far away from us as she was,

she would figure out a way to let me know that my intention

was not welcome.

She did not.

In fact, as I explained to her what I was doing—

anointing her from head to toe much as the Egyptian kings were—

she seemed to soften a bit.

Her restlessness lessened.

I prayed.

In my prayers, 

I asked the Holy Spirit (Sofia) and the Angels and Mother Mary

to guide my prayers as I gently applied the oils.

I added lavender to the mix because she always liked it

and because lavender is so soothing to the soul and the physical body.

What I knew of frankincense and myrrh 

is what prompted me to use them as I said goodbye to her physical presence. (She died 4 days later on January 10, 2024.)

The ritual of anointing was used before written history.

Anointing was a symbol of hospitality (guests were anointed upon arrival).

Anointing was an effort to embody the courage of a killed lion.

It was used in ceremonial blessings and coronations.

It was used as an act of consecration and blessing at every stage of life.

Frankincense provides protection.  It is uplifting and at the same time grounding and centering.  It anchors us to our innermost self and to emotional healing.  Frankincense connects the physical body to higher realms, connecting with the divine (including connecting to our divine self).  It clears negative energy.  It provides a sense of safety and security in challenging situations.  It is calming.

Myrrh shares many of frankincense’s effects.  It also helps heal emotional wounds such as grief, sadness, resentment.  It allows for transformation of old beliefs and behavior patterns that no longer serve you.  Myrrh facilitates a more profound sense of love and unity and provides protection against negative energies and influences.

My mother’s life was an amalgam of everything:  She resisted a great deal of the negative energies that came from life and the people around her and chose to focus on the gifts—hers and others—of life and the people around her.  And yet, she was regularly visited by the ghosts and the habitual consciousness that she had inherited and lived in as a young girl and beyond.

She was and remains an awesome example of “at the same time.”  At the same time that she was able to fight off the demons and live with great energy and joy-in-life, she was plagued by her fears and by the experiences that fed those fears.

I had not articulated these “reasons” for being drawn to anoint Mom with these oils.  I woke up knowing and for maybe the 7th time in my life (I exaggerate.  It was probably the 12th.), followed my knowing and did exactly what I was drawn to do.

I see now that it truly was a gift for her and for me to anoint her and to anoint her with these particular oils.

In reminding her to remember that she was sacred and divine,

In bringing to her the oils of protection and transformation, of connecting with the divine, of deepening a sense of love,

In providing her the experience of body-mind-spirit engagement where the oils permeated the physical body which in its turn communicated with the mind and spirit and where the mind and spirit used the physical body to nourish the experience of the total entity that was my Mom,

In doing these things for her,

I did them for me as well.

In creating this ritual for her,

I shifted the world inside of me,

unbeknownst to me at the time.

It was a gift that, even now, one year later,

draws tears to my eyes and throat.

And we all know that for me, tears mean truth.

“It is in giving that we receive.”

(Words from the prayer of St. Francis, a prayer and song I sang with my Dad

as he lay saying good-bye to this world 8 years prior).

I am always honored and delighted to give to you.

And this day (yesterday) of gift-giving

reminded me that it is essential

that we grant ourselves time, space, energy…

whatever we need…in order to honor and delight ourself

in OUR life.

It is my fervent hope that you will feel drawn to experiencing Serenity in the South of France with me this September 7-13.

Serenity in the South of France with me this September 7-13 

…and this “act” may mean joining me this year…

or it may mean writing on a slip of paper the phrase “retreat with Paula” and putting it in your “God box” (that box that Tosha Silver advocates for our prayers and wishes)

so that it happens some time when it’s the right moment for you.

Trust yourself.

Trust yourself first,

not exclusively, but first.

I feel great gratitude to my innermost self 

who led me that day one year ago yesterday

to give my mother the gift of peace and calm and joy,

the gift of feeling herself as divine,

the gift of helping her open a path for her to move where she was headed.

Know that you can do this for yourself as well.

You can anoint yourself with the essential oils that draw your body-mind-spirit

into being and feeling what it is you seek in this life we're living.

I hope you will.

And I hope you’ll share your experiences by writing me back.

And if it’s for you,

register for the retreat before January 31 

so that you are able to take advantage of the 1000 EU off the cost.

Whatever you do….

ALL that you do…

do it with JOY!

Many Blessings,

Paula.